I think I should host the Oscars next year. I’ll give you a minute to stop laughing. Done? Good. Seriously, it’s not like ratings are going gangbusters or the most recent hosts have gotten rave reviews. So hear me out.
I love to watch movies. Sure, so does most of the rest of America, but I really love movies, watching at least two new ones every week. Plus, can you imagine how awesome it would be to get screener copies of movies? No more going to the movie theatre to stand in line and sit next to the guy loudly chomping on popcorn. And no more waiting until the movies come OnDemand, cheering for a movie to win based on who’s in it and what Entertainment Weekly said about it.
I also love public speaking. It’s energizing and exhilarating. Sure, I’d be nervous. Anyone who says they wouldn’t is lying. But nerves are good; they keep you on your toes and wanting to do your very best. Once up on the stage, the butterflies in my tummy would calm and I would be on my game and in the moment. I can be funny too. And the writers would help me be really funny. However, I have that comedic timing that can’t be taught, even by a room full of comedic geniuses.
Most people tune into the Oscars for the fashion. We all want to see who looks great and who looks . . . well . . . not so great. It would be a joy for this fashionista to have designers fighting to dress her, make gowns just for her. After all, having a haute couture gown is on my bucket list. Gowns, shoes, jewelry, hair, makeup: I’d give the fashion community plenty to talk about.
Everyone would tune in to see the regular girl host. The producers and network want the ratings to go up, way up. What a better way to do that than to take the girl next door, a Hollywood outsider and give her the chance of a lifetime? People would tune in to see if I’d choke. If Billy Crystal would have to be pulled from the audience to host the show. Would I do a song and dance number? Would I fall on my face while doing it? Would I try to get my first kiss from Bradley Cooper? Or George Clooney? Or Hugh Jackman? Would I become the next big thing in Hollywood? Regardless, people would want to watch out of sheer curiosity. There could be behind the scenes pieces with dress fittings and rehearsals, not to mention interviews with former hosts. It would be the best Oscars EVER! I know you’re thinking this dream is even crazier and less realistic than being a bestselling novelist and an Oscar winning screenwriter. I know that. But admit it: You’d watch.
You’ll also want these Biscoff Blondies with Biscoff Icing. I have made more than my fair share of awesome blondies but none with Biscoff. I had to change that and I’m so glad I did. These may be the best blondies I’ve made. They are super dense and chewy – the best blondie texture. They have a hint of Biscoff flavor along with a little vanilla. I’d also never made blondies with icing. How is that possible? Icing makes everything better. This icing is so Biscoff-y you’ll want to eat it by the spoonful. Just try to save enough for the blondies.
- 1 stick unsalted butter, room temperature
- 1 cup granulated sugar
- 1 ½ cups packed light brown sugar
- 1 cup creamy Biscoff
- 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
- 4 large eggs
- 2 ½ cups all-purpose flour
- ½ teaspoon kosher salt
- 1 cup creamy Biscoff
- ½ cup confectioners’ sugar
- 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
- 3-4 tablespoons milk (I used almond)
- Make the blondies. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Butter a 9 by 13 inch baking pan. Line the bottom only with parchment.
- In a large bowl, cream butter, sugars, Biscoff, and vanilla until light and fluffy and well combined. I did this by hand, but a hand or stand mixer would work as well. Add the eggs one at a time, fully incorporating each one. Mix until once again light and fluffy. Add the flour and salt and mix until just combined. Pour mixture into prepared pan and bake for 35-40 minutes, rotating halfway through if necessary, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with only a few moist crumbs. Cool completely in pan.
- Make the icing. In a medium bowl, stir together Biscoff, sugar, vanilla, and 3 tablespoons of milk. Continue adding milk one tablespoon at a time, until the icing is thick but spreadable. Spread into an even layer on blondies. Cut and serve. Blondies may be stored in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 3 days, or frozen, wrapped in parchment and foil and placed in a zipper bag for up to 3 months. Thaw at room temperature for a couple hours.














